i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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