Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
