the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize