just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
