For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
