At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
