Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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