ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize