It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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