YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
