she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
