i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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