if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
