My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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