On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
