it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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