Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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