i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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