Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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