I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
