So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
