Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize