i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
