I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
