So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
