We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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