Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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