so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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