Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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