and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
