im drinking this country out of the recession.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
