oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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