And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
