So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
