What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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