i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
