i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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