People in love make me want to vomit
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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