There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
