Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you still have your period?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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