don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
