You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
