let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
