no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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