I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize