im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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