so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
