i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
