i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
