I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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