Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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