i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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