Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
