so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
