I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
