If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
