you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
