Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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