That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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