I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
