I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize