ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
