Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
