I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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